ADHD in women often goes unnoticed, leaving many struggling with symptoms they don’t realise are part of a recognised condition. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, disorganised, or emotionally drained without understanding why, you’re not alone. ADHD can present differently in women compared to men, leading to years of frustration, self-doubt, and exhaustion.
Many women with ADHD develop coping mechanisms to mask their struggles, appearing high-functioning on the surface while battling inner chaos. But untreated ADHD doesn’t just make daily life harder – it can impact mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
If you suspect you might have ADHD, you may be wondering whether getting a diagnosis and seeking treatment could make a difference. If, after reading this article, this sounds like something you’d be interested in pursuing, we offer private ADHD Assessment to those in London, Oxford and the surrounding area.
This article explores the signs of ADHD in female adults, the hidden struggles of living without a diagnosis, and the long-term effects of leaving ADHD untreated. Most importantly, it highlights the support available and how recognising ADHD could help you regain control, improve your confidence, and transform your daily life. For more information on harnessing the positives of ADHD, take a look at our article ADHD Hyperfocus.
What Are the Symptoms of ADHD in Female Adults?
ADHD symptoms in women often go unrecognised, as they can present differently compared to the classic hyperactive traits more commonly associated with the condition in men. Many women with ADHD struggle with organisation, emotional regulation, and focus, often masking their difficulties to fit societal expectations. This can make it harder to identify and diagnose ADHD in adulthood.
Common Signs of ADHD in Women
Women with ADHD may experience:
- Chronic forgetfulness, losing track of tasks, appointments, or personal belongings
- Struggles with organisation, leading to piles of unfinished projects or last-minute deadlines
- Difficulty maintaining focus, especially on tasks that are routine or uninteresting
- Overwhelm from daily responsibilities, leading to procrastination or avoidance
- Emotional sensitivity, with strong reactions to criticism or frustration
- Impulsivity in decision-making, spending, or social interactions
- Trouble relaxing, as the mind feels constantly restless
High-Functioning ADHD – Subtle Symptoms to Recognise
Many women develop coping strategies to mask their struggles, leading to what’s often referred to as high-functioning ADHD. This means they may appear organised and in control, but behind the scenes, they rely on excessive effort, anxiety, or last-minute bursts of productivity to get things done. Some subtle signs of high-functioning ADHD in women include:
- Feeling exhausted from managing tasks that seem easy for others
- Using detailed lists, alarms, or rigid routines to compensate for forgetfulness
- Overcommitting to work or social obligations to avoid feeling like a failure
- Difficulty managing emotions, leading to periods of burnout or withdrawal
- Experiencing a persistent sense of underachievement, despite outward success
How ADHD Presents Differently in Women vs Men
ADHD has historically been studied in boys, meaning the symptoms in women are often overlooked or misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression. While men with ADHD are more likely to display hyperactivity and impulsivity, women often experience internalised symptoms, such as:
- Daydreaming or zoning out rather than external hyperactivity
- Feeling overwhelmed but keeping up a “put-together” appearance
- Emotional dysregulation leading to intense mood swings
- People-pleasing or perfectionism as a way to manage struggles
- A tendency to blame themselves for their difficulties rather than recognising ADHD as the cause
Understanding these differences is crucial for women who suspect they have ADHD, as many women with these struggles develop low self esteem. If these symptoms sound familiar, it may be time to explore further assessment and support.
The Hidden Struggles of Women with ADHD
For many women, ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or easily distracted – it’s an invisible battle that affects every aspect of life. Because ADHD is often misunderstood, women tend to develop coping mechanisms to mask their struggles, leading to emotional exhaustion and long-term mental health challenges.
ADHD Masking – What It Is and Why It Happens
ADHD masking refers to the unconscious effort to hide symptoms in order to appear more organised, in control, or “normal.” Women are particularly prone to masking due to societal expectations of being responsible, capable, and emotionally composed [1]. This can involve:
- Overcompensating with excessive planning, lists, and reminders
- Mimicking the behaviour of neurotypical people to blend in
- Suppressing hyperactivity or impulsive thoughts to avoid judgement
- Forcing themselves to stay focused at the cost of extreme fatigue
While masking may help in the short term, it often leads to chronic stress, burnout, and a loss of self-identity. Many women with ADHD don’t realise how much energy they spend hiding their struggles until they reach a breaking point.
Emotional Dysregulation and Mental Health Challenges
ADHD doesn’t just affect concentration – it can have a profound impact on emotions. Women with ADHD often experience intense feelings that shift rapidly, making emotional regulation a challenge. This can manifest as:
- Heightened sensitivity to criticism or rejection (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria)
- Overwhelming anxiety from trying to meet expectations
- Periods of depression due to feeling misunderstood or stuck in a cycle of failure
- Sudden bursts of motivation followed by complete exhaustion
Because ADHD in women is frequently misdiagnosed as anxiety or mood disorders [2], many end up receiving treatment for symptoms without addressing the root cause – ADHD itself.
Impact on Relationships, Career, and Self-Esteem
Living with untreated ADHD can deeply affect personal and professional life. Women with ADHD often struggle with:
Relationships – Forgetting important dates, zoning out in conversations, or reacting emotionally can create tension with partners, family, and friends. Many women feel guilty for being “too much” or “not enough.”
Career – ADHD can make it difficult to stay on top of deadlines, manage time effectively, or cope with workplace stress, leading to career instability or underachievement despite having the potential to succeed.
Self-Esteem – Years of struggling with focus, impulsivity, or feeling different can erode confidence, leaving many women with ADHD feeling like they are failing at things that seem effortless for others.
These hidden struggles can take a significant toll, but recognising them is the first step toward understanding that ADHD is not a personal failing—it’s a neurological condition that can be managed with the right support.
Signs and Effects of Untreated ADHD in Female Adults
When ADHD goes undiagnosed and untreated in women, the effects can be profound. Many women struggle through life feeling overwhelmed, disorganised, and emotionally drained without realising that ADHD is the underlying cause. Over time, the stress of managing symptoms without support can lead to significant mental, emotional, and even physical consequences.
How Undiagnosed ADHD Affects Daily Life
Women with untreated ADHD often experience daily struggles that can make even simple tasks feel exhausting. These may include:
Difficulty staying organised – Household chores, work projects, and personal tasks often feel chaotic or impossible to manage.
Procrastination and time blindness – Losing track of time or struggling to start (or finish) tasks can create a cycle of stress and guilt.
Impulsivity in decision-making – Overspending, overcommitting, or struggling to regulate emotions can lead to regret and frustration.
Forgetfulness and inconsistency – Missing appointments, misplacing items, or struggling to maintain routines can impact work and relationships.
Overwhelm and exhaustion – The constant mental effort required to function in a structured world can leave women feeling drained and inadequate.
These everyday challenges can feel isolating, but they are not a reflection of laziness or lack of effort—they are symptoms of ADHD that require the right support.
Long-Term Consequences on Mental and Physical Health
Without treatment, ADHD can take a toll not just on mental well-being, but on physical health as well. Over time, untreated ADHD in women has been linked to:
Chronic stress and burnout: The ongoing pressure to keep up with life’s demands can result in complete emotional and physical exhaustion. The exhaustion of masking symptoms, working twice as hard to stay on track, and struggling to meet expectations can lead to mental and emotional collapse.
Anxiety: The pressure to stay organised, meet deadlines, and appear in control can cause constant worry and fear of failure.
Depression: Feeling like you’re “never doing enough” or constantly failing at tasks others seem to manage easily can lead to hopelessness and self-doubt.
Many women seek help for anxiety or depression without realising that ADHD is the root cause. This can result in treatments that only address part of the issue, leaving ADHD symptoms unaddressed.
Increased risk of sleep disorders: Many women with ADHD struggle with insomnia, restless sleep, or difficulty maintaining a consistent sleep schedule.
Higher likelihood of developing health issues – Cardiovascular issues are more common in women with ADHD [3].
Unhealthy coping mechanisms – Some women may turn to overeating, excessive caffeine use, or other habits to manage ADHD symptoms unknowingly.
Understanding these long-term effects is crucial. With the right support, ADHD can be managed in a way that improves confidence, mental health, and overall quality of life.
Getting Support for ADHD in Women
If you suspect you have ADHD, getting the right support can make a huge difference. Many women go undiagnosed for years, often blaming themselves for difficulties that are actually symptoms of an underlying condition. The good news is that with the right diagnosis and treatment, you can regain control, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being.
ADHD Diagnosis Process in the UK
In the UK, getting an ADHD diagnosis involves several steps:
- Speak to Your GP – Your first step is to book an appointment with your GP and discuss your symptoms. They may ask about your medical history and how ADHD affects your daily life.
- Referral to a Specialist – If your GP believes an assessment is necessary, they may refer you to an NHS specialist or suggest private assessment options. NHS waiting times can be long, so some people choose to go private for a faster diagnosis.
- ADHD Assessment – This typically involves a detailed evaluation with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or specialist nurse. They will ask about your symptoms, challenges, and how ADHD has affected you since childhood.
- Receiving a Diagnosis – If you are diagnosed with ADHD, the specialist will discuss treatment options and next steps to help you manage your symptoms effectively.
For those who prefer a private ADHD assessment, many clinics offer services with shorter waiting times, though costs vary. Online assessments are also available, but it’s important to choose a reputable provider.
Treatment Options – Therapy, Coaching, and Medication
Once diagnosed, treatment options for ADHD in women include:
Medication – Stimulant and non-stimulant medications can help improve focus, reduce impulsivity, and manage hyperactivity. A specialist will work with you to find the right medication and dosage.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Therapy can help with emotional regulation, anxiety, self-esteem, and practical coping strategies for ADHD-related challenges.
ADHD Coaching – Coaches trained in ADHD support can help you develop personalised strategies to improve time management, organisation, and productivity.
Support Groups – Connecting with other women with ADHD can provide valuable insight, reassurance, and shared experiences.
The best treatment plan is often a combination of approaches tailored to your personal needs.
Lifestyle Strategies to Manage ADHD Symptoms
In addition to medical and therapeutic support, lifestyle changes can significantly improve day-to-day life with ADHD. Helpful strategies include:
Time Management Tools – Using planners, reminders, and alarms to keep track of tasks and deadlines.
Breaking Tasks into Steps – Large tasks can feel overwhelming, so breaking them into smaller, manageable steps can make them more achievable.
Creating Routines – Structured routines help with consistency and reduce decision fatigue.
Exercise and Movement – Physical activity can improve focus, reduce stress, and regulate mood.
Mindfulness and Meditation – Techniques like deep breathing and guided meditation can help with emotional regulation and impulsivity.
Diet and Sleep Hygiene – Prioritising good nutrition and a consistent sleep schedule can support overall mental clarity and energy levels.
Many women find that understanding their ADHD and developing self-compassion is just as important as practical strategies. With the right support, managing ADHD becomes easier, leading to greater confidence, better relationships, and a more fulfilling life.
How Oxford CBT Can Help
Oxford CBT provides expert support for women navigating ADHD, whether you’re seeking a diagnosis or strategies to manage your symptoms. Our experienced therapists offer professional ADHD assessments to help identify key challenges and guide you toward the right treatment.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a proven approach for managing ADHD [4], focusing on practical skills to improve focus, organisation, and emotional regulation. Our tailored one-to-one sessions also address common co-existing issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, and overwhelm. Beyond therapy, we provide personalised guidance on structuring routines, managing procrastination, and building confidence in daily life.
If ADHD is affecting your work, relationships, or wellbeing, Oxford CBT is here to help. Get in touch today to book an assessment or consultation and take the first step toward a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Conclusion
Untreated ADHD in female adults can have a profound impact on daily life, affecting work, relationships, and mental wellbeing. Many women go years without recognising their symptoms, often blaming themselves for struggles that are actually linked to ADHD. However, understanding the condition and seeking the right support can be life-changing.
With the right diagnosis and tailored strategies, it’s possible to manage ADHD effectively, reduce stress, and regain confidence. Whether through therapy, practical coping techniques, or professional guidance, support is available to help you take control of your life.
If you relate to the experiences discussed in this article, you don’t have to navigate ADHD alone. Seeking help can be the first step towards greater clarity, balance, and self-acceptance. Readers in London, Oxford and surrounding areas can contact us at Oxford CBT to discuss how we can support you.
References
- Katie Mannion (2022) Recognizing ADHD in Women: The Issues. healthline.com. https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/yes-adult-women-can-have-adhd
- Martin et al. (2024) Sex differences in attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder diagnosis and clinical care: a national study of population healthcare records in Wales. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38864317/
- Smari et al. (2023) Psychiatric comorbidities in women with cardiometabolic conditions with and without ADHD: a population-based study. BMC medicine. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37981673/
- Lopez et al. (2018) Cognitive-behavioural interventions for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in adults. The Cochrane database of systematic reviews. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29566425/
Author – Tom Murfitt
With over a decade’s experience in providing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Tom has worked in both the NHS and private sector to help adults and children to overcome a range of difficulties and improve their mental wellbeing. In addition to being an experienced CBT therapist, Tom is also an accredited Mindfulness teacher, providing courses locally, in businesses and schools. You can read more about us here.
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