Autism Masking

Autism masking, sometimes called “camouflaging,” is a complex behaviour where autistic individuals consciously or unconsciously hide their natural traits to fit into societal norms or expectations. This might involve mimicking social behaviours, suppressing stimming, or masking difficulties with eye contact or sensory sensitivities. While masking can help autistic people navigate challenging environments, it often comes at a significant emotional and physical cost. 

For many autistic individuals, masking is a survival strategy, enabling them to avoid judgement, discrimination, or misunderstanding. However, the effort to maintain this façade can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and a phenomenon known as masking burnout. It also risks obscuring their true selves, making it harder for others to understand and support them effectively. If after reading this article, you recognise masking behaviour in either yourself, your child, or a loved one, we offer private autism assessments for London, Oxford and East Midlands.

This article explores autism masking in depth, from understanding what it is and why people do it to recognising its impact and learning how to create environments where masking is less necessary. Whether you are autistic yourself, a loved one seeking to understand, or simply someone looking to expand your awareness, this guide will offer insights into the realities of masking and how we can foster greater acceptance and authenticity. 

At Oxford CBT, we’re here to help autistic individuals and their families navigate these challenges with care and compassion. If you are an adult considering or waiting for autism assessment, check out our article What Questions Are Asked in an Adult Autism Assessment?

What is Autism Masking?

Autism masking refers to the behaviours autistic individuals use to hide or minimise traits associated with autism in order to fit into societal norms. These behaviours might include suppressing stimming (self-soothing repetitive behaviours), mimicking social cues like eye contact or facial expressions, or carefully scripting conversations to avoid making social mistakes. Masking is often a conscious or unconscious effort to appear “neurotypical” and navigate environments where being openly autistic might lead to misunderstanding, judgement, or exclusion.

Masking occurs for a variety of reasons, many of which stem from societal pressures and the challenges of living in a world designed for neurotypical people.

While masking can be an adaptive strategy in certain situations, it often comes at a cost. The constant effort required to suppress natural behaviours and maintain a façade can lead to exhaustion, stress, and even long-term mental health challenges, such as anxiety or depression [1] [2].

Understanding autism masking is a vital step toward creating more inclusive environments where autistic individuals feel safe to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or rejection. This awareness benefits not only those who mask but also their loved ones and the broader community, fostering greater empathy and acceptance.

Why Do Autistic People Mask Their Behaviour?

Autistic people often mask their behaviours to navigate environments and social situations that may not be naturally accommodating. Masking is influenced by societal expectations, cultural norms, and personal experiences. It can help autistic individuals avoid negative judgements, form connections, or meet external demands, but it often comes at the cost of their mental and emotional wellbeing.

Societal Pressures to Conform

Society frequently expects individuals to follow neurotypical social norms, such as maintaining eye contact, understanding unwritten social rules, and avoiding behaviours that stand out. These expectations can make autistic traits, like stimming, avoiding eye contact, or speaking bluntly, seem “out of place.” For example, in a classroom, a child might avoid flapping their hands, a self-soothing behaviour, because peers tease them or teachers ask them to stop. Instead, they might sit on their hands or tightly clench their fists to suppress the urge, leading to discomfort and stress.

Cultural Expectations

Cultural norms can amplify the pressure to mask, particularly in societies that value politeness, conformity, or emotional restraint. Autistic individuals may feel compelled to suppress behaviours that are seen as impolite or unconventional in their culture. For example, during a family gathering, an autistic adult might force themselves to engage in small talk, even though it feels overwhelming, because their culture places high importance on social interaction and being a gracious host.

Personal Reasons for Masking

On a personal level, masking often stems from a desire to fit in, form relationships, or avoid negative outcomes like bullying or exclusion. Many autistic individuals also mask to protect themselves from being misunderstood or judged. For example, a teenager in secondary school might memorise and rehearse conversation scripts to appear more socially adept and avoid being ostracised by their peers. While this may help them blend in, it can leave them feeling disconnected and exhausted.

Fear of Rejection or Harm

Masking can also be a protective mechanism. Autistic individuals might hide traits to avoid bullying, discrimination, or even physical harm. This is particularly common in settings where neurodiversity is not well understood or accepted. For example, an autistic employee might force themselves to maintain eye contact with a manager during a meeting, despite it feeling unnatural and stressful, out of fear that avoiding eye contact might be interpreted as disinterest or disrespect.

The Cost of Masking

While masking may help autistic individuals navigate challenging environments, it often leads to emotional and physical exhaustion, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from their authentic selves. Over time, the constant effort to mask can contribute to burnout and mental health struggles [2].

By understanding the reasons behind masking, loved ones, educators, and employers can create more inclusive spaces where autistic individuals feel safe to express their authentic selves. This fosters acceptance and reduces the need for masking, allowing autistic people to thrive without compromising their wellbeing.

What Does Autism Masking Look Like?

Autism masking involves consciously or unconsciously altering behaviours to appear more neurotypical, often to meet social expectations or avoid negative judgement. The specific ways masking manifests can vary greatly depending on the individual’s age, context, and personal experiences.

Common Examples of Autism Masking

Masking behaviours can take many forms, including suppressing natural traits, mimicking others, or rehearsing social interactions. Some common examples include:

Suppressing Stimming: Stimming, such as hand-flapping, rocking, or fidgeting, is a self-soothing behaviour often masked in public to avoid drawing attention.

Forced Eye Contact: Making deliberate eye contact, even though it feels uncomfortable or unnatural, to meet societal expectations of politeness.

Mimicking Social Cues: Copying facial expressions, gestures, or tones of voice to fit in during conversations.

Scripted Conversations: Rehearsing responses or memorising phrases to manage social interactions without revealing difficulty in real-time communication.

Hiding Sensory Overload: Enduring loud noises, bright lights, or uncomfortable textures without showing distress to avoid standing out.

These behaviours often help individuals navigate challenging social or sensory environments but can be emotionally draining over time.

How Masking Differs Between Children and Adults

The way masking manifests often depends on the individual’s stage of life and the environments they encounter.

Children

Children with autism may begin masking behaviours at a young age, often in response to social or educational settings where differences in behaviour are pointed out. Masking in children is typically reactive and driven by a desire to avoid criticism or fit in with peers.

For example, a child might avoid flapping their hands in class because they’ve been told it’s “disruptive,” or they may rehearse smiles and responses to make friends during playtime. At home, however, they might display more natural behaviours, leading to a phenomenon often referred to as “the meltdown after school,” where the effort to mask all day results in emotional exhaustion. 

Adults

Masking in adults is often more sophisticated and ingrained, as years of social feedback shape their behaviour. Adults may have learned to mimic neurotypical communication styles so effectively that their autism goes unnoticed, even by professionals.

For instance, an autistic adult may rehearse small talk before a social event to ensure they seem engaging, even if the interaction feels overwhelming or superficial. In professional settings, they might suppress sensory discomfort, such as enduring a noisy office, to avoid appearing “difficult.” Over time, this can lead to masking burnout, where the sustained effort takes a toll on mental health.

The Emotional Impact of Masking

For both children and adults, masking often creates a disconnect between their authentic selves and the version of themselves they present to the world. This can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. Recognising and understanding these behaviours is crucial for supporting autistic individuals in environments where they feel safe to unmask and be themselves.

By fostering acceptance and awareness, families, educators, and employers can help reduce the need for masking, allowing autistic individuals to thrive authentically.

Clues That May Indicate Someone is Masking Autism

Recognising that someone is masking their autism can be challenging, as the whole purpose of masking is to hide traits that might stand out. However, certain tell-tale signs can give clues to an observer that a child or adult is expending significant effort to conform to neurotypical norms. These signs are often subtle but noticeable when one pays close attention to patterns of behaviour or their context.

In Children

Exaggerated or Overly Rehearsed Social Behaviours: A child masking autism may appear overly polite or scripted in their interactions, such as always saying “thank you” or “please” but in a manner that feels rehearsed rather than natural.

Delayed Emotional Reactions: A child who is masking might suppress their emotions during a challenging situation, such as sensory overload, only to have a meltdown later in a safe environment like home.

Inconsistent Behaviour: Teachers or peers may notice that the child behaves very differently in school compared to at home, often appearing more withdrawn or subdued in public settings.

Physical Tension: While they might not visibly stim, children who are masking may show subtle signs of physical discomfort, such as clenching their fists, fidgeting discreetly with an object, or adopting a rigid posture to suppress their natural behaviours.

In Adults

Excessive Effort in Social Situations: Adults masking autism may appear overly attentive during conversations, maintaining prolonged eye contact or mirroring the other person’s expressions and gestures in a way that seems overly deliberate.

Inconsistent Participation: They might attend social events but avoid speaking too much, laugh when others laugh, or agree with the group even if they don’t fully understand or agree with what’s being said.

Unnatural Pauses or Scripting: An adult masking may pause frequently before speaking, as though mentally rehearsing their response. This can make interactions feel stilted or overly formal.

Signs of Overwhelm After Social Events: Someone masking may appear completely composed during a social or professional interaction but later retreat or seem exhausted after the event. This could manifest as avoiding further interaction or needing extended downtime.

Emotional and Behavioural Clues

Perfectionism in Public: Masking often involves hyper-awareness of social expectations. Someone masking might seem excessively focused on being “perfect” in their responses or actions, making them seem overly formal or stiff.

Fatigue or Burnout: A person who frequently masks may appear chronically tired, emotionally drained, or irritable, particularly after long periods of social interaction.

Avoidance of Spontaneity: Masking can involve a need for predictability. An individual who masks might avoid unplanned social interactions or changes to routines where their rehearsed responses might not apply.

Subtle Sensory Adaptations

Compensating for Sensory Overload: While they may not openly react to overwhelming sensory inputs, someone masking might discreetly adjust their environment, such as sitting away from loud noises, wearing headphones, or avoiding eye contact without making it obvious.

The Importance of Observing Patterns

The key to recognising masking is not in isolated behaviours but in patterns over time. If someone consistently displays “surface” social behaviours in public but shows signs of exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, or significantly different behaviour in private, this could indicate they are masking.

Being aware of these signs allows observers—whether they are loved ones, teachers, or employers—to create an environment where the individual feels safe to unmask, reducing the stress and emotional toll of masking. This awareness is a vital step toward fostering acceptance and understanding for autistic individuals.

Autism Masking in Specific Contexts

Masking behaviours often vary depending on the environment, the expectations placed on the individual, and their stage of life. While masking can help autistic individuals navigate specific contexts, it often comes with significant challenges, including emotional exhaustion and misunderstandings about their needs.

Masking at School and the Challenges It Brings

In school settings, autistic children may feel immense pressure to conform to social norms and meet academic expectations. Masking often begins here, as children attempt to fit in with peers or avoid drawing attention from teachers.

A child masking at school might suppress stimming behaviours, try to maintain eye contact, or mimic the actions and speech of classmates to appear neurotypical. For example, they might rehearse what to say when answering a question or force themselves to participate in group activities even if they feel overwhelmed.

While these efforts can help the child avoid bullying or exclusion, they often lead to emotional exhaustion. Many children who mask at school experience what is known as “after-school meltdowns,” where they release the pent-up stress and frustration in a safe environment at home. This can confuse caregivers and teachers, as the child may appear calm and well-adjusted at school but exhibit distress outside of it.

‘Elle’, a mother of four whose youngest child, ‘Pippa’, has since been diagnosed autistic, describes the differences in behaviour she observed in Pippa between school and home: 

“When she started school, it seemed like Pippa was managing ok at first. She was very quiet in class, but she had a close friend and was meeting age related expectations, so the teachers weren’t concerned.”

But the moment Pippa would come home, Elle explains “It was like she was a different child. Pippa would get upset very quickly once we were back at home, screaming and crying over what seemed like minor events and fighting frequently with her siblings.”

But when Elle and her husband ‘George’ shared this information with Pippa’s teachers, they didn’t get the response they expected: “I think the teachers thought we were exaggerating,” says Elle. “They just kept emphasising how there weren’t any concerns at school. The behaviour was all put down to Pippa being exhausted adjusting to full days at school. We felt very fobbed off and dismissed, and for several years, this was a barrier for us in getting Pippa the support she so badly needed.”

Masking in Autistic Females: Why It’s Often Overlooked

Masking is particularly prevalent among autistic females and is one of the reasons autism is frequently underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed in girls and women. Societal expectations for females to excel in social interactions often push autistic girls to develop advanced masking strategies from a young age.

For instance, a young girl may mimic the speech and gestures of her peers to blend in, even if she struggles to understand the underlying social dynamics. As a result, teachers and caregivers might overlook her autism because she appears sociable and engaged.

In adulthood, autistic women may continue to mask by adopting “acceptable” behaviours in professional or social contexts, such as suppressing their sensory sensitivities or carefully scripting conversations. This tendency to mask can delay diagnosis and support, as these women are often seen as shy, anxious, or perfectionistic rather than autistic.

The emotional toll of masking for females is profound. Many report feelings of alienation and burnout, as well as mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, stemming from the constant effort to hide their true selves.

How to Tell if a Girl or Woman is Masking Autism

Recognising autism masking involves observing subtle patterns of behaviour and understanding the disconnect between their public persona and private self. This is especially important for girls and women, who are more likely to mask their autism due to societal expectations of social adeptness.

• Perfectionism and Over-Preparedness: Autistic women who mask may appear overly polished in social settings, rehearsing conversations or adopting mannerisms to blend in.
• Emotional Exhaustion or Meltdowns at Home: If a girl or woman seems calm and composed in public but frequently experiences emotional outbursts, shutdowns, or meltdowns at home, this could indicate she is masking her struggles in external environments.
• Intense Need for Downtime: After school, work, or social interactions, she might withdraw entirely, needing significant alone time to recover from the effort of masking.
• Mimicking Others in Social Interactions: Girls and women who mask often mirror the speech, gestures, or interests of their peers to appear socially adept, even if these behaviours feel unnatural to them.
• Reluctance to Express Sensory Discomfort: They may endure uncomfortable sensory experiences without showing it, such as loud noises or bright lights, only to express distress later in a safe environment.

Masking in Adulthood: Workplaces and Social Settings

In adulthood, masking becomes more nuanced and often more deeply ingrained. Workplaces and social settings typically require higher levels of social interaction and self-regulation, making these environments particularly challenging for autistic individuals.

In the workplace, adults may mask by mimicking the behaviours of colleagues, such as adopting conversational tones, body language, or humour that feels unnatural. They may avoid mentioning sensory sensitivities, such as discomfort with bright lights or loud noises, to prevent being perceived as difficult or unprofessional.

In social settings, masking can involve extensive preparation, such as rehearsing conversation topics or learning appropriate facial expressions and gestures. For instance, an autistic adult might maintain eye contact during a conversation even though it feels uncomfortable or overwhelming. These efforts to conform to social norms can leave adults feeling exhausted and isolated, as they may not feel authentic or understood by those around them. 

Autism Masking and High-Functioning Autism

Masking can significantly complicate the identification of high-functioning autism in adults, as individuals often develop sophisticated strategies to hide their autistic traits. High-functioning autism, sometimes referred to as Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder, is characterised by milder symptoms that require less support in daily life compared to other levels of autism. However, the combination of masking and these subtler traits can lead to misdiagnosis or a lack of recognition altogether.

How Masking Conceals High-Functioning Autism

Adults with high-functioning autism often mask to meet societal expectations and navigate complex social and professional environments. Masking involves actively concealing behaviours that might be perceived as atypical, such as avoiding eye contact, stimming, or struggling with small talk. While these strategies can help autistic individuals blend into neurotypical environments, they also obscure the challenges they face.

For example, an adult with high-functioning autism may rehearse conversations or rely on memorised scripts to manage social interactions. To an observer, this might appear as confidence or adeptness, but internally, the individual may feel overwhelmed and anxious. Similarly, they may suppress sensory sensitivities or regulate emotional responses to maintain a composed outward appearance, even if they are experiencing discomfort or distress.

‘Charlotte’, a former property manager, shares her experience of masking in the workplace: “During a normal working day, I was able to keep up the pretense that I was managing things well. I knew the things to say in my role and how to make polite small talk with colleagues about what happened at the weekend or what people were watching on TV. I hated doing it though, because it didn’t genuinely interest me, I felt fake and I just wanted to get on with my work. But I knew it was part of what was expected to fit in and be accepted, so I went along with it.” 

She adds: “I used to work all day under these bright striplights in the office and struggled to concentrate being surrounded by colleagues talking across the room and playing the radio, but I never complained because I didn’t want to seem ‘odd’ or like I wanted to spoil everyone’s fun. I used to come home every night with a thumping headache and just collapse onto my bed exhausted.” 

The Impact of Masking on High-Functioning Adults

While masking can help adults navigate social and professional environments, it often comes at a cost. The sustained effort required to maintain a neurotypical appearance can lead to burnout, chronic stress, and emotional exhaustion. Many high-functioning autistic adults report feelings of isolation, as masking prevents them from expressing their authentic selves and connecting deeply with others.

The lack of recognition and diagnosis can exacerbate these challenges, as adults may not receive the support or accommodations they need. Without understanding their autism, they might internalise their struggles, blaming themselves for difficulties that stem from their neurodivergence.

Over time, the constant effort to mask in adulthood often leads to burnout, characterised by extreme fatigue, emotional distress, and a diminished ability to maintain masking behaviours. This is what happened to Charlotte. “I just suddenly felt I couldn’t last another day. I handed in my notice because continuing as I was just wasn’t an option. My manager was really surprised that I quit. According to them, they thought I was doing really well at work, but I knew differently. At the time, I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I realise now of course that I was masking.”

Now Charlotte understands herself better, she works from home so she doesn’t need to exhaust herself trying to fit into an environment that isn’t suitable for her sensory needs. But this isn’t an option for everyone. By understanding how to recognise masking behaviour, we can better accommodate the needs of autistic people.

Recognising Masking in Yourself or a Loved One

Recognising autism masking in yourself or a loved one can be challenging, as masking is often subtle and deliberate. For autistic individuals, the ability to camouflage traits may feel necessary to navigate social and professional environments. However, the effort of masking can leave clues, especially for those who are very close to the individual and witness their unmasking behaviours, such as meltdowns or withdrawal in private settings. Understanding these signs is crucial for fostering a supportive environment.

Signs You May Be Masking Your Autism

For someone masking their autism, the act may feel like second nature, making it difficult to identify. However, there are often internal and external signs that indicate masking:

• Feeling Exhausted After Social Interactions: If you often feel emotionally and physically drained after spending time with others, it may be because you’re putting significant effort into masking your natural behaviours.
• Rehearsing or Analyzing Conversations: Spending time before an interaction preparing what you’ll say, or after the interaction replaying conversations to evaluate how you came across, can be a sign of masking.
• Suppressing Stimming or Sensory Responses: You may notice a conscious effort to stop yourself from engaging in stimming behaviours, such as fidgeting or rocking, or from reacting visibly to sensory discomfort.
• Disconnect Between Public and Private Self: If you find yourself acting in ways that feel unnatural in public but revert to your authentic behaviours in private, this could indicate masking.
• Burnout or Meltdowns in Safe Spaces: Frequent feelings of overwhelm, burnout, or emotional release when alone or with trusted loved ones may result from the prolonged effort of masking.

Recognising these patterns in yourself can be a step toward understanding your needs and seeking support to reduce the pressure to mask.

Clues for Loved Ones

For parents, partners, or close friends, the contrast between an autistic person’s public and private behaviours is often the most telling sign of masking. For example, a child may appear to be thriving at school, meeting social and academic expectations, yet come home irritable, withdrawn, or prone to meltdowns. Similarly, an adult may seem high-functioning in the workplace but regularly express feelings of exhaustion or overwhelm at home.

Loved ones might also notice that the individual avoids new or spontaneous activities, showing a preference for structured environments where they can prepare and rehearse responses.

Why Recognition Matters

Recognising masking in yourself or a loved one is a critical step toward reducing the emotional toll it takes. It allows autistic individuals to seek accommodations, such as sensory breaks or flexible communication styles, that reduce the need to mask. For loved ones, understanding masking provides insight into how to create a supportive, accepting environment where the individual feels safe to be their authentic self.

Recognising and Supporting Masking in Different Contexts

Understanding how masking manifests in different contexts is essential for creating environments where autistic individuals feel safe to unmask. Whether in schools, workplaces, or social settings, fostering acceptance and providing tailored support can help reduce the pressure to mask and promote wellbeing. By recognising the unique challenges faced by females and individuals in specific environments, society can take meaningful steps toward greater inclusivity and understanding.

At Oxford CBT, we work with autistic individuals and their families to help identify masking behaviours, understand their impact, and develop strategies to reduce the need for masking while fostering self-acceptance and confidence.

The Impact of Masking

Masking autism traits often allows individuals to navigate social and professional environments more easily, but it comes at a significant emotional and physical cost. The effort to suppress natural behaviours and maintain a neurotypical façade can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and long-term harm to mental and physical health.

Autism Masking Burnout and Its Consequences

Masking requires constant vigilance and self-regulation, which can lead to burnout—a state of overwhelming exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Autism masking burnout occurs when the effort to hide autistic traits becomes unsustainable, leaving the individual emotionally and physically depleted.

Burnout can manifest in several ways:

• Extreme Fatigue: The continuous effort to monitor and adjust behaviours can leave individuals feeling chronically tired, both mentally and physically.
• Loss of Coping Mechanisms: Burnout often diminishes the ability to use masking strategies effectively, leading to noticeable struggles in social and professional settings.
• Meltdowns or Shutdowns: When masking becomes too much, autistic individuals may experience intense emotional reactions (meltdowns) or retreat from interactions altogether (shutdowns).
• Physical Health Issues: Chronic stress from masking can contribute to physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and gastrointestinal problems.

Burnout often makes it harder for individuals to continue masking, leading to a cycle of increased stress and diminished mental wellbeing.

How Masking Affects Mental Health

The emotional toll of masking extends beyond burnout. The disconnect between an individual’s authentic self and their masked behaviours can have profound effects on mental health, including:

• Anxiety: Constantly worrying about how one is perceived or whether their behaviours are acceptable can lead to chronic anxiety. Autistic individuals may feel a persistent fear of being judged or exposed.
• Depression: The effort to suppress autistic traits often leads to feelings of isolation and low self-worth. Many individuals internalise the idea that their natural behaviours are unacceptable, contributing to depressive symptoms.
• Identity Struggles: Masking creates a gap between the individual’s authentic self and the version of themselves they present to the world. Over time, this can lead to confusion about their identity and a sense of disconnection from who they truly are.
• Low Self-Esteem: Repeatedly hiding traits to fit in may reinforce feelings of inadequacy, as individuals may believe they need to mask to be accepted or valued.

Why Masking Makes Diagnosis Difficult

Masking often leads to delayed or missed diagnoses of high-functioning autism in adults for several reasons:

Appearing “Too Competent”: Adults who mask effectively may not fit stereotypical perceptions of autism, leading to assumptions that they are neurotypical. For example, excelling in academics or a career can overshadow underlying struggles with executive functioning or social nuances.

Underreporting Challenges: Because masking becomes second nature, adults may not fully recognise or articulate the difficulties they face. They might describe themselves as simply “tired” or “anxious” rather than acknowledging their deeper struggles.

Overlapping Traits with Other Conditions: Masking often masks autistic traits while highlighting symptoms like anxiety or depression, leading to misdiagnoses. For instance, the anxiety caused by maintaining a neurotypical façade might be treated without addressing the root cause—autism.

The Ripple Effect on Life and Relationships

The impacts of masking often extend into relationships, work, and daily life. Loved ones may notice patterns of withdrawal, emotional exhaustion, or significant changes in behaviour, particularly in safe spaces where masking is no longer necessary. These dynamics can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for support.

Reducing the Need for Masking

Recognising the emotional and physical impacts of masking is essential for creating environments where autistic individuals feel safe to express themselves authentically. By fostering acceptance, understanding, and support, families, educators, and employers can help reduce the pressure to mask.

How to Support Autistic People Who Mask

Supporting autistic individuals who mask involves fostering environments where they feel safe to be their authentic selves. By reducing the need for masking and encouraging self-acceptance, families, workplaces, and social networks can help autistic people navigate life with less stress and greater confidence.

Creating Safe Spaces to Reduce the Need for Masking

Safe spaces are essential for autistic individuals to feel comfortable expressing their true selves. These spaces can be physical, social, or emotional, and they provide an environment where there is no pressure to conform to neurotypical expectations.

• At Home: Families can create safe spaces by being accepting of autistic traits, such as stimming or avoiding eye contact. Allowing the individual to set boundaries, take breaks, or modify routines to suit their needs can help reduce the stress associated with masking.
• In Schools: Teachers can support autistic students by encouraging open communication about their needs and providing accommodations like quiet areas, sensory tools, or flexible seating arrangements.
• In the Workplace: Employers can foster inclusivity by offering sensory accommodations, such as noise-cancelling headphones or adjusted lighting, and creating a culture that values diversity and authenticity.

Strategies for Loved Ones to Help Autistic Individuals Unmask

Loved ones play a crucial role in helping autistic individuals feel supported and valued. Strategies for encouraging unmasking include:

• Encouraging Open Dialogue: Create an environment where the autistic person feels comfortable discussing their needs and challenges without fear of judgment. Asking questions like, “What makes you feel most comfortable in social situations?” can open up communication.
• Validating Their Experiences: Acknowledge and validate the individual’s feelings about masking, especially if they express frustration or exhaustion. Let them know it’s okay to be themselves.
• Respecting Their Boundaries: Avoid pressuring them to unmask in settings where they don’t feel safe. Focus on reducing the need for masking rather than forcing change.
• Providing Sensory and Emotional Support: Offer tools like sensory fidget items, weighted blankets, or noise-cancelling headphones to help manage stress and sensory sensitivities.

Supporting High-Functioning Adults Who Mask

High-functioning autistic adults often mask in professional and social settings, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Recognising this behaviour is an important step in providing meaningful support.

• Seeking Professional Assessment: For adults who suspect they may be masking, a professional autism assessment can help clarify their experiences and provide insight into their needs. Understanding their autism can empower them to embrace their identity and access appropriate support.
• Encouraging Authenticity in the Workplace: Employers can promote authenticity by valuing diversity and making accommodations, such as flexible working arrangements or sensory-friendly environments.
• Promoting Self-Acceptance: Families and social networks can help by validating the individual’s true self and reducing societal pressures to conform.

How Oxford CBT Can Help

At Oxford CBT, we specialise in identifying and supporting autistic individuals, including those who mask. Through tailored assessments and evidence-based therapies, we help autistic people and their families understand masking, navigate its challenges, and foster environments where authenticity is celebrated. Whether it’s providing guidance for high-functioning adults or offering strategies for families, our goal is to empower autistic individuals to thrive as their authentic selves.

Conclusion

Autism masking is a complex behaviour that allows autistic individuals to navigate a neurotypical world but often comes at a significant emotional and physical cost. While masking may help them fit in or avoid judgement, it can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and a sense of disconnection from their authentic selves. Recognising and reducing the need for masking is vital to supporting their wellbeing and fostering a more inclusive society.

For teachers, it’s crucial to pay attention when parents share that a child behaves very differently at home than at school. A child who appears to be coping well in the classroom may be masking their struggles, only to release the stress through meltdowns or emotional exhaustion at home. Teachers should not assume that outward calmness or compliance means a child is managing. Instead, they should work closely with parents to understand the child’s full experience and explore ways to reduce the pressure to mask in school environments.

By creating safe, supportive spaces at home, school, and work, we can help autistic individuals feel valued for who they are. Encouraging open dialogue, recognising their challenges, and providing accommodations are essential steps in reducing the need for masking and promoting authenticity.

At Oxford CBT, we are dedicated to helping autistic individuals and their families navigate the challenges of masking. Our tailored assessments, therapeutic approaches, and support strategies are designed to foster self-acceptance and create environments where authenticity is celebrated. Together, we can empower autistic individuals to thrive as their true selves, free from the pressure to mask.

References

1. Cage and Troxell-Whitman (2019) Understanding the Reasons, Contexts and Costs of Camouflaging for Autistic Adults. Journal of autism and developmental disorders. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30627892/ 
2. Rebecca Joy Stanborough, MFA (2021) Understanding Autism Masking and Its Consequences. healthline.com. https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/autism-masking 

Author – Tom Murfitt

With over a decade’s experience in providing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Tom has worked in both the NHS and private sector to help adults and children to overcome a range of difficulties and improve their mental wellbeing. In addition to being an experienced CBT therapist, Tom is also an accredited Mindfulness teacher, providing courses locally, in businesses and schools. You can read more about us here.  

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