In our busy lives we always still make sure that others around us have the things they need and go to the places they need. We rarely will find time for ourselves and when we do, we feel guilty. We worry about the washing that needs doing, the ironing that needs putting away and the other chores that need completing. But, you shouldn’t feel guilty for putting yourself first. While it is nice to be kind and considerate of others, we need to find a balance.
Help Yourself Before Others
Your body is the most important item to you, as this is what you will carry with you through life. You should care for your body as much as if it is the body of someone you love. If you live your life to please others then it will have a significant effect on your mental health. Putting yourself first is not selfish and you should not feel guilty as it is necessary because we matter too, as well as the people around us.
Self-care Isn’t Selfish
Some of us think that by spending time on ourselves we are selfish. That we are undeserving, indulgent or extravagant but it is none of these things. It is necessary. We can not look after others if we do not look after ourselves. If we are to look after the ones we love, we must first think about ourselves and look after ourselves. By doing this we will be able to be a better partner, parent and person.
Taking Care Of Ourselves
Of course, our children and our partners are our number one priority but that does not mean that their needs are more important than your own. Taking care of ourselves does not mean that we don’t care about others. It actually means that we will be able to better take care of our loved ones by taking care of ourselves as we will be rested and energized.
Taking time for yourself and investing in your self-care isn’t selfish. Practising self-care helps you to stop just existing and start living. Doing things that make you feel happy, lift you, and make you smile is vital for your mental health. Sometimes we are on auto-pilot so much that we go through life and don’t notice what is going on around us. Self-care will help us start living and noticing the little things that life brings.
Set A Good Example
If you are a parent then you know that children will soak up the energy and behaviours that are around them. Modelling self-care and taking time for ourselves shows to our children that it is ok to make your well-being a priority. It teaches your children a sense of self-worth too.
If you aren’t a parent, it will still set a good example for the friends and family around you. It will show people that self-care isn’t selfish and the best way to do that is to be confident and proud about taking time out for ourselves.
By taking care of ourselves and putting ourselves first shows how we expect others to treat us. Learning to say no to others and to set boundaries is good for our relationships with others, but also ourselves. It makes it clear to others that we demand respect and that we want to be treated in the right way. It might hard to at first, but it is important to show this to others.
Examples Of Self-care:
– Read a magazine
– Take a bath
– Get outside
– Do some exercise
– Practice mindfulness
– Watch a comedy
– Anything that makes you feel good!
All clinicians at Oxford CBT are Cognitive Behavioural Therapists or Psychologists, offering evidence-based interventions and support for a range of issues for both young people and adults. If you would like to book an appointment you can do so on our online booking portal. If you have a question please get in touch via our online contact form or call us on 01865 920077.
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